Unlearning and Dhanteras....
Unlearning and Dhanteras....
18 yrs back when I got married into a Telugu Hindu family..There were so many new things for me to learn right from unfamiliar culture, ..mind boggling customs, new flavours..different foods .different language ..But interestingly there were few things to unlearn too.. Like my mom in law explained to me in first go that she doesn't expect me to touch feet..apply sindoor or wear mangal sutra...as there are no such customs in the family..and hence I was not expected to follow them.. The only three things she said she would like me to take care about were no 1 -never to have empty wrists.. always have a Kangan or chudi on ...no 2 -she preferred that I always put on a bindi ( which was absolute 👍 thumbs up for me)...no.3 was a tough one.. She also expressed desire that I put on my toe rings ( bichua)..... According to their customs these were important nishanis of a suhagin..chudi or Kangan and bindi was absolute fine for me but toe ring well Ahem ! Was a bit of a challenge.. an ouch ! especially in professional environment it was kind of odd to flaunt my toe rings but nevertheless I found my ways out.. and it worked out fine..😜
Apart from that there was one more major unlearning I was expected to do. Interestingly this unlearning was connected with the auspicious day of Dhanteras. Since childhood I have watched my mom as a thumb rule queue up in those crowded jewellery or Bartan shops to pick up at least a piece of jewellery or utensil for the home on Dhanteras. I often heard my mom murmuring to my dad " aap nahin samjhenge it's a good omen to buy metal on this day .. It is auspicious for the family's wellbeing and prosperity.." Abba used to indulgently smile and look away just like he used to react to many other Islamic practices that were beyond his logical mind.. His signature response used to be " Bhai my wife is very secular when it comes to superstitions"...😊
Then when I got married .. On my first Dhanteras as I expressed my desire to do some jewellery/ metal shopping as per the custom which had got almost ingrained in me since childhood... I remember my husband giving me odd looks .. Very similar to the kind of " I indulge u.. But I don't get u" !! looks that Abba used to give to my mom.. Since Dhanteras is not such a huge thing back there in southern India.. he hardly even knew about it., So I had to almost drag him for my Dhanteras shopping.. Something which was so much part of my learning and which I was just not ready to unlearn ..poor guy had no choice but to oblige me on my Dhanteras fixation..
18 yrs back when I got married into a Telugu Hindu family..There were so many new things for me to learn right from unfamiliar culture, ..mind boggling customs, new flavours..different foods .different language ..But interestingly there were few things to unlearn too.. Like my mom in law explained to me in first go that she doesn't expect me to touch feet..apply sindoor or wear mangal sutra...as there are no such customs in the family..and hence I was not expected to follow them.. The only three things she said she would like me to take care about were no 1 -never to have empty wrists.. always have a Kangan or chudi on ...no 2 -she preferred that I always put on a bindi ( which was absolute 👍 thumbs up for me)...no.3 was a tough one.. She also expressed desire that I put on my toe rings ( bichua)..... According to their customs these were important nishanis of a suhagin..chudi or Kangan and bindi was absolute fine for me but toe ring well Ahem ! Was a bit of a challenge.. an ouch ! especially in professional environment it was kind of odd to flaunt my toe rings but nevertheless I found my ways out.. and it worked out fine..😜
Apart from that there was one more major unlearning I was expected to do. Interestingly this unlearning was connected with the auspicious day of Dhanteras. Since childhood I have watched my mom as a thumb rule queue up in those crowded jewellery or Bartan shops to pick up at least a piece of jewellery or utensil for the home on Dhanteras. I often heard my mom murmuring to my dad " aap nahin samjhenge it's a good omen to buy metal on this day .. It is auspicious for the family's wellbeing and prosperity.." Abba used to indulgently smile and look away just like he used to react to many other Islamic practices that were beyond his logical mind.. His signature response used to be " Bhai my wife is very secular when it comes to superstitions"...😊
Then when I got married .. On my first Dhanteras as I expressed my desire to do some jewellery/ metal shopping as per the custom which had got almost ingrained in me since childhood... I remember my husband giving me odd looks .. Very similar to the kind of " I indulge u.. But I don't get u" !! looks that Abba used to give to my mom.. Since Dhanteras is not such a huge thing back there in southern India.. he hardly even knew about it., So I had to almost drag him for my Dhanteras shopping.. Something which was so much part of my learning and which I was just not ready to unlearn ..poor guy had no choice but to oblige me on my Dhanteras fixation..
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