Sunaina

Tauba... I have been kicked out of class not many times in my life so far....actually very very rarely in school days....can count it on fingers...but when I was a fresher in college in class 11 th .. It happened twice ..and both the times it happened to be a Islamic studies class .. I guess my sitare were always in gardish when it came to Theology teachers of AMU.... I remember in one such class ...me getting up and questioning  the teacher....He was explaining about the Islamic teachings on acceptability of  polygamy and consummation of marriage with a minor wife ...he was diligently trying to  justify Polygamy to a class of around 200 girls ..listening to him mutely with  unquestionable devotion ..when me who was unable to contain myself any longer ...got up and questioned the very basis of the concept...The theology teacher replied in his nasal tone "Mohtarma  it's normal for a man to be polygamous.. Or be not satisfied by one woman.. So he should be al...

The see off cup of chai... It was an unusually very quite and silent Aligarh that morning...I looked at the sleepy dogs on the road ..half Dozing off .. Only waking  up with a  start on the occasional ring of the cycle bell of milkman and newspaper men passing by...we could see the white herd of namazis returning from the early morning " fajir" ki namaz ... Turned around to hear the sound of chimes from the near by morning Aarti in the temple on the side of the road..there was a Halwai frying pipe hot morning jalebis in a huge kadai..we both were silently sitting  in the moving rickshaw going towards the railway station to catch an early morning train.. Me holding on tightly to my bag with one hand and clutching his arm with the other one.. Loved doing that...His reassuring kind and so comforting arm.. It never failed to give me a sense of belonging and feel of a safe cocoon..Just like I always used to since I was a little girl.. I instinctively put my head on his shou...

The Glimpses... Zindagi ki talkhiyan deti hain khwaabon ko janam .. aarzoo jaadu ke sehra mien mujhe dauraye hai... Glimpse 1- I saw me and him walking under a star studded sky.. No lights.. But full moon glowing the still night.. It's a normal walk .. But the difference is he instead of hurriedly walking the distance like a task to just mechanically reach the destination .. Instead in my glimpses he actually slows down.. Makes me slow down too.. Then he points to the sky.. Whispers something .. I smile...And then he coaxes me to sit down under the khula aasman .. Make me Close my eyes and imbibe the stillness .. We just sit there for few mins.. In silence.. Absorbing the beauty and quietness ..we don't say a word .. But we still talk a lot .. It's just 5-6 mins extra than what the usual mechanical walk might have taken but it makes such a huge diff to a craving soul like me...this glimpse made me smile..  Another one-I am sitting on my terrace garden.. W...

The default victim ... Scene 1-A woman caught in a communal mob.. A mob formed of so called her own people.. Of so called her own...-   The guys who were in the front kept on hitting on her more ferociously ...the blows were landing not just on her face and abdomen but on her psyche too.... They kept on saying " how dare u look up.. How dare she look in our eyes? Look down .. Neeche dekh" they yelled...she looked at all of them .. Some familiar faces in the mob.. Some of them were her neighbours.. Some her schoolmates.. Some were even her childhood playmates.. All were apne ..,but all seemed to be strangers to her then...She  had readied herself for the worst.. Had told herself .. This is it.. She will be gangraped here.. Maybe killed or brutally traumatized ...then killed.. That's it.. But then she told  herself" I will not beg the monsters for mercy".. No I will not beg them .. No.. " She raised her head and looked straight into thier eyes without fl...

Unlearning and Dhanteras.... 18 yrs back when I got married into a Telugu Hindu family..There were so many new things for me to learn right from unfamiliar culture,   ..mind boggling customs, new flavours..different foods .different language ..But interestingly there were few things to unlearn too.. Like my mom in law explained to me in first go that she doesn't expect me to touch feet..apply sindoor or wear mangal  sutra...as there are no such customs in the family..and hence I was not expected to follow them.. The only three things she said she would like me to take care about were no 1 -never to have empty wrists.. always have a Kangan or chudi on ...no 2 -she preferred that I always put on a bindi ( which was absolute 👍 thumbs up for me)...no.3 was a tough one.. She also expressed desire that I put on my toe rings ( bichua)..... According to their customs these were important nishanis of  a suhagin..chudi or Kangan and bindi was absolute fine for me but toe ring w...

Despair , hope and Sudoku... It was pitch dark outside.. Sun had settled down for another day...I looked out from the 6 th floor lounge of Lilavati Hospital at the sprawling Bandra lake with its glittering skyline..night was gradually setting in.. Could spot the Mumbai local train screeching in the background shuttling tired and exhausted commuters home after long day of hard work.. There was an air of sitting back ...Though the day outside was slowing down and changing its pace.. .   inside the day was unaffected by the outside paces or routines.. I looked around at the dim lights of the waiting lounge in Lilavati ICU ..ICUs unnerve  me ...that sense of morbidity in the air .. That apparent  human helplessness in that final battle between life and death.. Where human life is just a puppet .. Hanging almost like a piece of ego trophy between life and death.. Those vital life sounds of beeps and puffs all together create the " ever formidable " ambience of ICU for me. I...

Umrao Jaan Ada and scandalised Aunty... I was in a Riyaz  session with my classical Music Ustaad that day.. was in a ghazal mood that day.. I fished out my fav Faiz ghazal " yaade ghazale chashma" .. And started on it .. Loved the beautiful Utar and chadavs in this one..Ustaad smiled and took out a piece of paper from his pocket..thrusting it in my hand he came around " aaj yeh suna do zara"..it was a bhajan based thumri he had taught me.. Beautiful one .. " neer bharan kaise main jaaon"...we began.. He liked it in my voice so he stopped after few mins motioning me to continue .. It was a beautiful tukbandi session we had that day.. As I was getting up.. There was a door bell on the door.. As Ustaad stepped out.. I ushered in my padosi nosy Aunty in.. ( never liked her ).. Aunty gave me and my harmonium contemptuous looks.. Sighed exasperatedly murmuring " uff Tauba".! . The devil in me instantly got curious :. I went near to her softly whisp...